The Lover Girl Talks On Friendship.
Friendship is an integral part of human existence.
For the past few weeks, my thoughts have been centered on friendship. Having had some nasty experiences with friendship in times, I decided to dig deeper.
To take that journey with me is the lover girl.
It's time to discover the truths you never knew about friends and friendship.
Can we meet the lover girl?
I feel giddy when I'm being referred to as The lover girl😂. I feel that is about everything I am.
I am Oluwamayowa Eunice Afolabi. I believe Love should be done everyday.
Why Loving everyday?
How did you become a special and dedicated preacher of love?
Any special encounter 😅?
That's a 3 in 1 question.
The story to Loving Everyday is a long one. However, to cut it short; On my 20th birthday although excited about the round figure age, I was not excited about being an adult. You know this "adulthood cliché" is not one I'm interested in. So I came up with a single birthday resolution which is to enjoy every day for the rest of my life.
I kept searching and few months later it occurred to me that what you enjoy most are the things you love. To enjoy something you definitely have to love it. Then I got my answer which is Loving Everyday. Loving myself (self love), Loving others and loving what I do.
This became my mantra and it also collided with December and I thought of organising a 31 days love Challenge. That's how Loving Everyday was birthed and the challenge to Love myself, love others and genuinely love what I do has not stopped.
What do you think is the perfect definition of friendship?
Maybe, a near perfect one😅
Friendship is a love relationship. One which you have decided to love and stay committed to someone no matter what happens.
So from the above; I'd want you to note that
1. Friendship is something you decide to do. You might walk with someone everyday and still not be their friend.
2. It is a commitment. You put your heart in it. You spend your money on it. And you invest your time in it.
3. It is mutual. A real friendship is one both parties decides to do. Otherwise, what you have is a parasitic relationship not friendship.
Have you had any nasty experience in a relationship?
If Yes? How did you survive?
A nasty experience? Hmm, mostly I've been blessed with near perfect relationships. No one is perfect but I've always had lovely people surround me.
I think there was one time I had a fall out with a friend. Sort of an omitted necessary conversation. It was painful and I felt my heart was dipped in ice. But we learned to love through. Now we are okay and I am still grateful that we were patient with each other through that period
What do you think should be the basic ingredient for a thriving friendship?
Can you share with us your special recipe?
Love. Love is the chief ingredient.
I once mentioned in an article that if we give our friendships half of the love and commitment we put in our romantic relationships. The world would be the best place to live. There nothing more beautiful than having a friend who intentionally loves you.
What do you think should make you walk out of a friendship?
I wrote once on Friendship break ups. I admit it's one tough one.
Once the relationship has become toxic and abusive, it is advisable to withdraw from it.
And yes, there are abuses in friendships. Physical, financial, emotional, psychological abuse.
When you notice that your friend is not your friend, it's advisable to walk out. Love can be done outside the intimacy of friendship; from afar.
How can I make my friends love me more😅🥂😩?
I need to win their hearts completely 🤓
_How to make your friends love you more._ That sounds like a 1000 dollar course😂. But, I'll give you a crash course.
1. Take a notebook and a pen; write down 10 things you want in a friend.
2. Number it Day 1-10. Make it a 10 days challenge. When you are done, Repeat. Repeat again, over and over.
3. Watch out for the magic.
The logic behind this is the best way to teach someone something is showing them how to. Be that friend you want.
The second hack is this: Communicate. Although showing them is communication, so many people can't detect green light even if it shines directly at them. Tell your friends how you want to be loved and treated.
1000 dollar course. LoL
How do you manage friendship with the opposite gender?
Friendship with the opposite gender... frankly, I have more girlfriends than guy friends owing to the fact that I grew up partly in a single sex boarding house.
But so far, I've learned this hack; Boundaries. Set boundaries and set them early. I think having beautiful friendships with the opposite gender is elite.
You cannot relate with a friend of the opposite gender like you would with a romantic partner and not expect a damaged relationship mixed with premium tears at the end. But I admit that perfect romance springs from beautiful friendships. However, until there's mutual consent to cross certain lines, boundaries must be set and respected.
See your friends as friends and respect it
How do you settle rifts in friendship?
How to settle rifts in friendships.
1. Alway keep it in mind that your friends are not perfect. A lot of rifts in friendships comes from the fact that most of us put our friends on a pedestal and we've set certain expectations for them. See your friends as humans, capable of making mistakes.
2. Forgive Everyday. The little hurts are the ones that accumulate into big ones. Make it an habit to forgive every hurt. Love always forgive.
3. Do not involve a third party without first telling your friends their fault. A lot of us make this mistake and it damages friendships.
4. Talk about it. Sit down. Get a quiet place, or take them to a restaurant, buy them food and drinks (there's nothing food cannot solve😂). Tell them how hurt you are by their actions. Avoid insultive and derogatory words. Listen to them, too.
Cephas is more than blessed with these priceless words.
Thank you, the lover girl for honouring this invitation.
Mayowa is the face behind Loving everyday.com, you can check some of her lovely contents.
Dear reader, do you want her to come again?
I'm sure you would.
Drop your opinions in the comments section.